


Turning Pages

by remslupin



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Brief Mention of Suicide, M/M, kieren is sad but in love, mentions of what kieren and rick used to do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 10:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2187867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remslupin/pseuds/remslupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silence settled its way between them and they both set their eyes on the floor. It took several minutes until Kieren raised his head and kissed Simon once more, soft and true and full of meaning. "It's different with you," he whispered. "Everything is so easy. It's like I've known you longer than anyone else."<br/>	"That's not possible," Simon hummed back, turning a little so as to have better access to let Kieren melt with his lips. "I wouldn't have died if I had had you in my life before. You would've changed it. You would've made it worth living."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turning Pages

**Author's Note:**

> Because of recent events in my life I really wanted to write something a little more serious. I wrote this sort of quickly just to get some of my feelings down and I'm not so sure of the outcome, but I figured I'd post it anyway.

Kieren was secretly amazed by how quickly he had connected with Simon - how easily he had found himself comfortable in his arms. When it had come to Rick, everything took time. Falling for him, touching him, kissing him, telling him how he felt. His relationship with Rick had taken a painfully long time to develop and grow, but with Simon everything felt beautiful and right, even though they were taking things so fast.

Not fast, necessarily. Just quicker than he was used to. He had known him for a mere few weeks when he had fled to his house and kissed him, and things had only escalated from there. 

Kieren had wondered about the fact that he did not know much about Simon. He knew where he had come from, about his father, and the drugs he had taken while he was alive, but after that, his knowledge was very limited. It wasn't that Simon didn't want to open up about it, either. They just never seemed to wander over the topic. 

A month after Amy's death and they were lying together on Kieren's bed, kissing lazily in the cramped space. Outside the window, the moon was shining brightly against the dark sky, illuminating the grounds below in a haunting glow. The lights in Kieren's room were turned down low, almost to the point of being off completely. There was silence surrounding them, the only sounds that of their chests brushing against each other quietly. 

"You're so addicting," Simon murmured, pressing a kiss to the corner of Kieren's mouth. "What is it about you?" 

Kieren laughed lightly against his lips, kissing him back with a flutter in his stomach. "I don't know. What is it about you? I could kiss you for hours. I've never felt that way about someone before." 

Simon pulled back suddenly, his expression less dazed and slowly turning more serious. A thought seemed to be processing in his mind. "Do you mind if I ask you...? What did you and Rick Macy used to do?" 

Kieren gaped at him, blinking only when he realized how ridiculous he mus havet looked. "Me and Rick? Um...well." He glanced awkwardly at the corner of the room. They had very rarely talked about Rick, and he liked to keep it that way. To Kieren, his life was seperated into two slots: When Rick was there, and when he wasn't. 

Simon shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn'tve asked." 

"Hey, no." Kieren tapped him under his chin to get him to look back up at him. "You can ask me anything. And maybe it's a good thing...to talk about it. We have been avoiding it for a while." 

Simon looked at him for a long moment before surging in for another kiss, only pulling away when Kieren put a hand on the side of his face. 

"Me and Rick...we didn't do much, really. Too nervous, I think. I was...um...more in touch with feeling the way we did than he was. I told him I liked him when we were fourteen. He didn't talk to me for a few days, but he came 'round eventually and said that he felt the same way, but that he didn't really understand it. 

"We started going to the cave a lot then. It was really...uncomfortable, at first. At least for him, I think. We talked, mostly. About anything we could think of. And then, one day, when I had had a really bad day at school, he just kissed me. But it wasn't a good kiss, even though it should've been. It was rushed and fast and I had started crying, and right afterwards he ran home. Stopped talking to me again, for a while." His expression softened with grief, but he plowed on: 

"When he came back to the cave with me, I asked him if I could kiss him again, and he said yes. That was mainly what we did. All that time we had, and we just kissed and talked. It wasn't until we were seventeen, and he was talking about joining the army, that we, uh, did anything...monumental. And it wasn't even a big thing." He took a deep breath, looking up at Simon pleadingly. 

"You don't have to talk about the rest, if you don't want to. It's a private thing, I understand," Simon whispered, his eyes swimming in what looked like pity. 

"It was just the one time," Kieren muttered, looking down and shaking his head. "I think it meant more for me than it did for him, because the next week he was just...gone. He had just left me." His voice shook slightly and he made a point to clear it. "But that's all done and over with, isn't it? It's the past. What happened between Rick and I...it's gone. All of it." 

Simon stared at him, mulling over what to say. He wanted to know everything, personally, about this beautiful boy sitting beside him. He wanted to know how he could have loved someone so much he took his life over them, if he loved Simon, why he never asked questions about him. 

"I'm sorry," was all he managed, his voice rough. "I'm sorry about Rick Macy. You didn't deserve that." 

"No," Kieren replied. "No, I deserved better. It was stupid, to be so in love with someone who couldn't love me back." He looked frustrated. "I don't think I deserved the way he treated me. Like I was something he had to hide." 

"You're completely right, Kieren. You're amazing. I don't even have words to describe how wonderful you are. You're everything." 

Silence settled its way between them and they both set their eyes on the floor. It took several minutes until Kieren raised his head and kissed Simon once more, soft and true and full of meaning. "It's different with you," he whispered. "Everything is so easy. It's like I've known you longer than anyone else." 

"That's not possible," Simon hummed back, turning a little so as to have better access to let Kieren melt with his lips. "I wouldn't have died if I had had you in my life before. You would've changed it. You would've made it worth living." 

Kieren paused to suck in a deep breath. "Simon...." 

"It's true. You mean everything to me, Kieren. I'm so...thankful for you." 

"I love you." Kieren's lips barely moved as he said it. His eyes were closed and his hands hovered next to Simon's cheeks. 

"I love you, too. So much."


End file.
